Entourage - "Out With a Bang" Review

IDK Drama, that shirt looks pretty bisexual to me. Even with beasts.

After Entourage's weak and lazy start last week to its abbreviated final season, "Out With a Bang" felt way more like the Entourage of old. With an episode featuring Billy Walsh and Vince kicking around ideas for a film (starring DRAMA, no less), E once again playing the (complete BS) art of seduction with Sloan, and some great classic character interaction between the always-entertaining Ari and Lloyd, this should really have been the season premiere. When you think about it, "Home Sweet Home" wasn't even really that necessary. It could have been established in this episode that E broke up with Sloan, Vince left rehab and came up with a (lame) film idea for him that would end up working better for Drama, and Ari attempted to nose into the newfound love life of his estranged wife. They could have split the plot of this episode across the first two, using the expository parts of "Home Sweet Home" while cutting the excess fat. This episode also featured the return of William Fichtner's Phil Yagoda, as well as a guest appearance by Andrew Dice Clay as himself as Drama's cartoon costar. The one part of this episode that really pissed me off was E and Sloan. Them breaking up again at the start of this season was truly the last straw for me. Sloan has been jerking E's ass around for years, then after he proves his devotion to her, she asks him through Terrance (that old jackass, I better be seeing Malcolm McDowell before season's end) to sign a prenup, basically throws him out, and then has the shit to get back in bed with him? This pissed me off. That is, until the ending, when she told E that she was moving to New York. This isn't the best ending for the two of them, but I hope this is the final ending, as I don't think I can take much more. Not perfect, but a definite improvement on last week, and the first episode to take some real (albeit baby) steps toward the show's conclusion. Only six weeks to go, folks.

"Out With a Bang" - 3.5/5 stars

Curb Your Enthusiasm - "The Smiley Face" Review

DO NOT FUCK WITH BIG DOG

As I said last week, "Palestinian Chicken" was an all-time classic Curb episode, one where I could ignore the directionless movement that this eighth season is making, and just have fun. This week, I was a bit irritated, because while "The Smiley Face" was fairly funny, it was another episode that made me realize that, now 2/5 in, Curb Your Enthusiasm is currently spinning its wheels. It seems that in the aftermath of Larry's divorce from Cheryl, Mr. David ran out of decent story ideas, and decided to gun this season straight for the laughs, so while the show is still very funny, it lacks a strong story to support it. That said, "The Smiley Face" had plenty of merits. The focus on minutiae such as lying being shown through a high voice, or Larry "crapping where he eats" (Yeah, that chick was DEFINITELY NOT dating him for the money). As for the cabinet subplot involving Big Dog and Larry's old receptionist, Antoinette (seen for the first time since Season 6, way back in 2007), that got some laughs, including some oddly meta shark TV show references from Big Dog. Is it possible that this episode airing at the onset of Shark Week is just a coincidence? As for the character, I wasn't a particularly big fan of Big Dog, due to the fact that he quickly went from being a seemingly rational character to totally insane. Although Larry yelling is almost always funny. Overall, this episode was kind of a shambles, random ideas strung together, feeling similar in structure to Season 7's "The Hot Towel", only even more convoluted (coincidentally, they both were the 4th episode in that respective season). Only difference was, in Season 7, the Seinfeld reunion storyline was in full swing by now, giving each episode a sense of purpose beyond nonsensical topical humor. With almost half of Curb's possibly final season (again) over, I wonder when this season will attempt to even try a season-long arc. They managed to successfully launch Larry and Cheryl's separation storyline with only 4 episodes left in Season 6, so there's still time. We know we're headed to New York eventually, but when and why is more of a mystery. From next week's previews, it's likely that it won't happen for a few more episodes yet.

Oh, and no Leon again this week. But we did get some Richard Lewis.

"The Smiley Face" - 3.5/5 stars

Cowboys & Aliens Review

James Bond, Indiana Jones, and the chick from House

Most likely to be the capper for the big-budget summer 2011 movie season, Cowboys & Aliens has been receiving an unfortunately mixed-to-negative reaction from critics, which calls into question their intelligence. Sure, it's no Inception, but with a title like COWBOYS AND FREAKIN' ALIENS, what the hell were they expecting? This movie delivers exactly what it promised: good, clean, sci-fi western mashup fun, with an all-star cast and crew bolstering it above the crapfests that preceded it like Jonah Hex and Wild Wild West. Not to fear, folks, this movie is devoid of all the things that made those movies suck, such as poor scripts, incoherent storytelling, giant mechanical spiders, and Megan Fox. Instead, we get Jon Favreau as director, bringing his good sense of fun over from the Iron Man films intact, and a decent script thrown together by Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof, Star Trek writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, and Iron Man scripters Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby. And the odd part is, despite those writers' predominately science fiction backgrounds, the part of the film they nail the best is the western half. The film, until the arrival of the titular extraterrestrials, feels like a pure, honest-to-God western, with intense scenes involving Daniel Craig's Jake Lonergan fighting off attempted capturers, and a nice little scene where Paul Dano threatens to shoot up a street. It's also filled with gratuitous winks to the classics, with many a hat tipped to filmmakers such as Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone. The lead cowboys also give strong performances, with Craig feeling sort of like a new generation's Man with No Name, while Harrison Ford gives one of his best efforts in years as gruff Colonel Dolarhyde. The sci-fi half, on the other hand, isn't quite as expertly handled, though it still gets its licks. The aliens seem like a strange fusion of the recent Super 8 aliens with the Xenomorphs of old, while their technology is, at times, a little too reminiscent of its forefathers. Their reason for being here is also a bit of a cop out, but it works as a parallel to their nemeses in the context of the story. Olivia Wilde's character, Ella, ties the whole film together, and along with the outstanding supporting cast that includes the aforementioned Dano, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine, Adam Beach, Noah Ringer, and Walton Goggins, they manage to make Cowboys & Aliens one of the most fun rides of the summer.

Cowboys & Aliens - 3.5/5 stars

Entourage- "Home Sweet Home" Season Premiere Review

The sun hopefully implies a high note.

I have only recently become a fan of Entourage, catching up on the show's first seven seasons on HBO GO over the last few months. Therefore, the differences in quality from season to season are less distinguishable to me than longtime fans. I wasn't the biggest fan of Season 1, loved Season 2, liked Season 3 well enough, kind of disliked Season 4, loved Season 5, liked the differences in Season 6, and maybe was the only person who enjoyed the darker direction in Season 7. And luckily, "Home Sweet Home" proves that the events of the Season 7 ender "Lose Yourself" won't go away so easily. In fact, things are actually worse than I thought they would be for our four friends. E broke up with Sloan, Ari's still separated from the missus (the separation scene last season was heartbreaking), and Vince is just getting out of rehab. Of all these developments, I'm a bit miffed with E and Sloan breaking up again, as I didn't think Terrance wanting a prenup was going to end it, I just thought it was cause some friction between him and Terrance that could possibly threaten the relationship, but I certainly didn't expect it to be over going into the premiere. We've also learned that E and Scott have taken down Murray, and now run the company. We get an appearance from Johnny Galecki, where the new status quo is established. In addition, Johnny's Bananas is apparently going well, while Billy seems to be getting back on his feet well enough, but this episode was honestly a little too empty. They set up a bunch of new storylines, but didn't provide enough closure on existing ones. Also, why is Vince cold-shouldering E? Does he honestly blame him for his drug addiction? Overall, this was a rather shaky start, and Ellin and crew better get their act together if they want this shortened final season to be a successful one.

"Home Sweet Home" - 2.5/5 stars

Curb Your Enthusiasm- "Palestinian Chicken" Review

The social assassin is here, contract offender.

Despite my high marks for the first two episodes of this eighth season, something felt a bit off about the both of them. They felt somewhat stagnant, and the plot wasn't going anywhere. And in this one, believe it or not, the plot STILL didn't go anywhere. And it didn't matter one iota, as LD and crew delivered a classic episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, the best since Season 7's "The Table Read". In the previews for the season, the cast and crew stated that the theme was "social assassin", and that became fully realized here, as Larry became a man who people would enlist to point out another person's character flaws or irritating ticks. And it was used for comedic gold here, as Larry told a friend's wife (the woman who played George's potentially pregnant love interest in the Season 3 Seinfeld episode, "The Fix-Up", no less) that saying "lol" was annoying, which, coupled with the woman's affair with another friend (played by Seinfeld alum Larry Miller, who guest starred as the sociopathic Doorman in Season 6), ruined a marriage. This was sprung with Larry's "assassination" of Susie, when he was blackmailed by her daughter Sammie into telling Susie that her "ahh" sound after taking a drink was annoying, which led to a mega-standoff on the golf course. This was coupled with the other plot of the Palestinian chicken restaurant, where Larry and recent born-again Jew Funkhouser raged over Larry's affiliation with the restaurant, as well as Funkhouser's stout Judaism. This led to a hilarious sequence where Larry was being cursed out by the woman he was having sex with, while Funkhouser was listening downstairs. Overall, this episode was hilarious, even without a Leon appearance, and was one of the best Curb episodes in a while

"Palestinian Chicken" - 5/5 stars

Captain America: The First Avenger Review

He's escorting Adolf Hitler himself to the gates of Hell.

Captain America: The First Avenger is the final film in a series of Marvel Studios superhero films leading up to next year's The Avengers, and thankfully, it's one of the best of the bunch. Sure, it has problems, but none of them are really deal-breakers. For one thing, despite his limitations as a director, Joe Johnston was a solid choice for this movie. With a resumé that includes another superhero film, The Rocketeer, as well as movies like Jumanji, Jurassic Park III, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and October Sky, he is both a student of Spielberg, master of the old-school blockbuster, and a man capable of venturing into dramatic territory. He's made a couple of stinkers (I'm looking mainly at you, The Wolfman), but his sensibilities as a filmmaker are just what a superhero like Captain America needs. A sense of patriotism, fun, adventure, and action, akin almost to Raiders of the Lost Ark, only instead of Doctor Jones, we get the Cap. Now on to the Cap himself. Despite having already played a superhero in the lousy Fantastic Four series, Chris Evans was really born for this role. He's got that ironic, comedic touch needed to help Steve Rogers feel alive, while also being worthy of the man's heroic nature. The supporting cast also produces a few winners, with Tommy Lee Jones and Stanley Tucci standing out as Colonel Phillips and Dr. Erskine, with the latter being some of the heart and soul of the film. Hayley Atwell also puts on a stellar performance as Peggy Carter, making her and the Cap's romance arguably the most believable in the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe. I never really got Tony/Pepper in Iron Man, while Bruce/Betty and Thor/Jane just seemed empty, but the Steve/Peggy relationship feels real and progressing at a natural pace. Also of note is Dominic Cooper as Tony's father Howard Stark, who puts on a credible similarity to Downey's character. Then there's the villain. I give Hugo Weaving credit for his valiant effort as the Red Skull, but ultimately, the character of Johann Schmidt never fully materialized. He was evil, he had ambition, I get that, but he just never really became a fully fleshed-out character. Ultimately, most of the villains in the MCU have fallen flat, with the possible exception of Loki in Thor (Obadiah Stane was a psychopath, Emil Blonsky was power mad, Ivan Vanko just wanted revenge, and the Red Skull's brain was addled by the serum). However, most of these complaints are small nitpicks, as we get to see how Steve Rogers moves from World War II to the present day, where Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson in a cameo once again) once again approaches a hero with the Avenger Initiative. Unfortunately, to find out their goal, we'll have to wait until next year. Overall, Captain America: The First Avenger was a good-not-great addition to Marvel Studios' ever growing universe, and the post-credits teaser leaves me hot with anticipation for next year.

The Avengers opens on May 4, 2012.

Captain America: The First Avenger - 3.5/5 stars

Curb Your Enthusiasm - "The Safe House" Review

Richard Lewis has yet another "love of his life".

After the enjoyable but cringe-worthy premiere of the season, I was wondering if Curb Your Enthusiasm was so played out, that it would now have to resort to shock laughs to be funny. Thankfully, this was incorrect, as "The Safe House" managed to be relatively inoffensive, while delivering a hilarious and overall more satisfying episode than "The Divorce" did last week. The welcome return of Richard Lewis as Larry's lovelorn ex-alcoholic friend was as hilarious as always, with his new girlfriend who he is only dating for her ample chest. Lewis had one hilarious line involving Galileo's teloscope, and has always managed to be one of the many unsung heroes of the show. Funkhouser and Jeff were funny as usual, while J.B. Smoove continues to be the comedic lifeblood as Leon. However, despite Larry awkwardness and the amusing tale of his encounter with the women of the safe house, I still feel like this season has yet to find an identity. After the introduction in Season 1, the TV pitches in Season 2, the restaurant in Season 3, the Broadway show in Season 4, Lewis' kidney story in 5 (though that wasn't introduced until the 5th episode, so this may be premature), the adoption of the Blacks and Cheryl's separation from Larry in Season 6, and the Seinfeld reunion last season, Season 8 feels like its spinning its wheels without a connecting vein. Of course, this may not be an immediate concern, as we know Larry is going to New York some time this season, so let's wait and see. In the meantime, "The Safe House" was a very funny episode, and was a clear message that Curb Your Enthusiasm has plenty of laughs left in the tank.

"The Safe House" - 4.5/5 stars

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 Review

I was disappointed by no "The End" title card....

Harry Potter is over now, both in book and film. And damn, did it go out with one hell of a bang. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2, the final installment of an 8-film franchise, is not only the best of them all, it is also the best film thus far in 2011. It capitalizes on the better half of the second half of the book, and what may be more surprising than anything is how much it gets right. The Gringotts break-in, the confrontation with Aberforth (though Dumbledore's past was only touched upon, as opposed to being a central theme), The Battle of Hogwarts itself, and Snape's demise were all handled well, if a little less than perfectly faithful to the books. Once you get to Snape's story, however, the film zooms into overdrive, and delivers a more thrilling climax than anyone could have imagined. David Yates, who I've long criticized for altering the books too much, actually improves upon the original material here. The final action-packed duel between Harry and Voldemort did not feel as hollow as it did in the book, with a fight spanning across all of Hogwarts going on simultaneously with Ron and Hermione attempting to destroy the final remaining Horcrux. As for the acting, most actors gave their best here. Ralph Fiennes was outstanding as Voldemort, as you could tell he was having a lot of fun with the role. They let the Heir of Slytherin out of the cage here, as he feels far more direct and menacing than in previous installments. Alan Rickman, in his few precious scenes, gets to show far more range as Snape here than ever in the previous movies. And Daniel Radcliffe finally comes into his own. If these films (please God no) ever get remade, it will be virtually impossible to find a new Harry, as Radcliffe is indelibly Potter, whether he likes it or not. Emma Watson continues to be the strong link as Hermione, while Rupert Grint does a far better job this time. Most other cast members (including Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Gambon, Gary Oldman, and others) get their last moments, particularly Julie Walters as Mrs. Weasley (THANK YOU YATES FOR NOT CUTTING THAT LINE), and the effects and bleak cinematography outrank any in previous films. Up to this point, I championed Alfonso Cuarón's Prisoner of Azkaban as the best film in the series, and I would still argue that it is a far more ambitious achievement than all the other films. Until this one. While Cuarón's film maximized the possibilities from the book, Part 2 exceeds the book at times. While some parts get the short shrift, this is Yates' most faithful film in the series. Part 2 should be rightfully remembered as one of the best fantasy films of all time, right up there with The Lord of the Rings, and if you're a true fan of the series, your eyes will well up as the perfectly adapted haunting epilogue takes center stage. The return of the John Williams score in that final scene, combined with the callbacks to the beginning of the series, nearly got me, a stone-face when it comes to movies, to very nearly shed a tear. Part 2 is the best film of 2011 thus far, and gives the strong but uneven franchise the perfect ending. Goodbye, Harry, you will be missed.

Ah, the old familiar places.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 -  5/5 stars

Harry Potter- Final Thoughts

Due to a difficulty in obtaining tickets for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2, I will not be seeing it until tonight, though most Potter addicts saw it last night. I've spent the last week rewatching the first seven films in the series, and I have a revised opinion on them. The Columbus films didn't age that well, while I was a little hard on Yates' films (though Phoenix is still bad), and I have revised ratings for the series. I will have a review up for Part 2 later tonight.

Revised Ratings:
Sorcerer's Stone - 3/5
Chamber of Secrets - 3.5/5
Prisoner of Azkaban- 4.5/5
Goblet of Fire - 4/5
Order of the Phoenix - 2.5/5
Half-Blood Prince - 3.5/5
Deathly Hallows Part 1 - 4/5

Falling Skies "Silent Kill" Review

The true mystery: Why is every chick in this turned on by Hal?

I must say, this was a pleasant surprise. "Silent Kill" was definitely the best episode of Falling Skies since the "Live and Learn" pilot, and resolved the main drive of the story thus far, that being Tom and Hal's goal of rescuing Ben. That Rick kid continues to be extremely creepy, and is definitely going to play some role in the future storyline. As for the captured skitter, he's still alive, but is being treated with even more extreme caution than before after the events of "Grace", and this is only amplified by the shocking death of Dr. Harris. This development allowed Moon Bloodgood's Anne to be given more backstory, and she officially took down her first skitter by demonstrating how knock out the captive at close range. And as stated in my caption above, WHY IS HAL, A 16-YEAR-OLD WHO MAY NOT EVEN TECHNICALLY BE LEGAL, GETTING ATTENTION FROM EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WITHIN TEN YEARS OF HIS AGE??!! Karen was his girlfriend, Lourdes had a crush on him, okay, yada yada. Karen's gone, and now Margaret's moving in? But she's gotta have at least 5-6 years on Hal, which wouldn't be weird if they were both adults. But Hal, for all his moments this week and his clever but risky plan, is still a kid, and it's just plain bizarre to see him get all this female attention. He's not the Alpha Male. But anyway, this was a remarkable episode, and as it turns out, despite all the reasons not to, I'm getting invested in Falling Skies. We're already halfway through the season, and I'm starting to care about these character's ultimate fates (What is strange, though, is that my favorite episodes so far both lacked my favorite character, Pope). When Ben reunited with his father and brothers, my eyes welled up.

"Silent Kill" - 4.5/5 stars

Curb Your Enthusiasm- "The Divorce" Season Premiere Review

He's back. Be VERY afraid.

Damn, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been gone a long time. The last episode, "Seinfeld", aired right before Thanksgiving 2009. It is now just after 4th of July 2011, and after nearly two years, everyone's favorite social assassin is back. Larry David returns with the first episode of this ten-part eighth (and again, possibly final) season, with an episode that's better than most of the previous season. Sure, a few episodes in Season 7 hit the mark (particularly "Vehicular Fellatio" and "The Table Read"), but it also had some of the worst episodes of the series (the overhyped "The Reunion" and "Officer Krupke", along with "The Bare Midriff", which contained a rather offensive joke to those of the Christian faith that may have been funny in context, but just took it a little too far). And the finale, "Seinfeld", did not live up to its potential as the final reunion of David's Seinfeld cast, with an amusing but mind-boggling cliffhanger ending. Luckily, "The Divorce" resolves that issue almost immediately before skipping ahead a year, as Larry is finalizing his divorce from Cheryl. While I'm a fan who thinks that they play off each other better when together than apart, there were at least a few divorce-related jokes that hit the nail on the hammer, particularly Funkhouser's revelation that he also wanted to divorce his life so him and Larry could be "two single dudes", as well as Jeff's wife Susie threatening that if her and Jeff ever got divorced, she would "take his balls" along with everything else. Other jokes that worked included Larry's discovery that his lawyer was not Jewish, only to switch to a Jewish lawyer that not only costs his friend (played by Entourage's Gary Cole) the LA Dodgers, but gives up Larry's house in his divorce, forcing him and Leon (the always hilarious JB Smoove) to relocate. This episode was so good, it's too bad that one joke just nearly ruined it, and that being a Girl Scout (who happened to be the daughter of the Dodgers owner) having her first period in Larry house, and him trying to help her insert a tampon through the bathroom door. This joke, like the Midriff joke, was just ridiculously offensive, and was too creepy to get even the most depraved shock laughs. Luckily, an amusing joke involving a tampon and Larry's face saved face for the original gag, and the Girl Scouts attempting to break down his door was funny. Overall, a solid start to the season, but that one joke was a tad too far.

"The Divorce" - 4/5 stars

The BioShock Franchise

Objectivism, Collectivism, Jingoism. BioShock is a place of -isms.

Among video game franchises, BioShock is the one of the most visually and morally ambitious, under the watchful eye of Irrational Games creative director Ken Levine. And with BioShock Infinite, the third game in the franchise, about a year away from release, and a possible film adaptation in the works, I thought now would be the good time for a retrospective on the franchise.

Who's Yo Daddy?

The original 2007 game is one of the most visually stunning video games ever, with a deep and intricate mythology and even tighter gameplay. Regarded by many as a spiritual successor to Irrational's earlier effort System Shock 2, BioShock ranks among my favorite video games. From hunting Big Daddies and saving their Little Sisters to learning the tale of Andrew Ryan's creation of the underwater Objectivist society known as Rapture, it is one of the most emotionally involving games of all time. Therefore, when a sequel was announced in late 2008, color me excited.

Being a Big Daddy ain't as cool as it sounds.

BioShock 2, released in 2010, brought back most of the franchise's familiar elements, and gave a new protagonist in the form of one of the original Big Daddy prototypes, Subject Delta. Unfortunately, you never really feel like a Big Daddy, with a gameplay system that was almost exactly the same as the original. If you were another human, this wouldn't be a big deal, but as Delta, you fell just as easily as Jack would to weak Splicers in the first game. With a Rapture that lost its sense of wonder, to a Collectivist conflict in the story that felt awfully tacked on with its female antagonist (which paled in comparison to the original concept), to the greatly oversimplified yet ridiculously overpowered Big Sisters (the original concept featured just one as the main villain, and that idea was AWESOME), you'd have to wonder why the game feels like such a carbon copy of the original. And then you realize it's because the game was developed by 2K Marin, the people who ported the original game to the PS3, and the ambitious minds at Irrational were scarcely involved at all. Marin gave it their all, but BioShock 2, while being a fun and competent sequel (with a strong final act), just couldn't live up to the original. A new direction was clearly needed.

I'm a little bit country......

Then in August 2010, that new direction arrived, as Irrational Games' "Project Icarus" was revealed to, in fact, be BioShock Infinite. With a new city (the sky-city of Columbia), new powers, a new story, and a new mythology overall, this looks to be the franchise's shot in the arm. Booker DeWitt is no Jack or Subject Delta, having a face and a voice, and a clear objective, that being to rescue Elizabeth, a girl being held captive inside the sky city. Elizabeth has some interesting powers, that Ken Levine refers to as "tears", which allow her to alter reality, while Booker gains powers called Vigors (this game's Plasmids). While Infinite retains some of the old game's concepts, a new setting seems to be what Levine always intended. This could be one for the ages.

As for the film adaptation, it currently appears to be in limbo. Gore Verbinski of the Pirates of the Caribbean series is attached as a producer, while Juan Carlos Fresnadillo of 28 Weeks Later was last set to direct. While 2K Games is still committed to the project, Verbinski says the funding has dried up. I hope this gets made as was intended, but that seems unlikely now.

BioShock Infinite is currently scheduled to be released in the second quarter of 2012.
The BioShock film's release date is unknown.

Star ratings for the first two games:
BioShock - 5/5
BioShock 2 - 3.5/5

A Tale of Two Sherlocks

Iron Man and the Sky Captain vs. William Pitt and Tim Canterbury

Ah, Sherlock Holmes. Master detective, the ultimate sleuth, an analytical, emotionless man unlike any other, the ultimate and iconic creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This article is, mainly, about the two current depictions of him in film and television form, those being Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes film series (the original 2009 film and the upcoming sequel, A Game of Shadows), and Steven Moffat and and Mark Gatiss' contemporary BBC TV series Sherlock. In terms of the depictions of the titular character, I will not argue whether one of them is "the best Holmes ever", as the late Jeremy Brett, of the Granada TV series The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes from 1984 to 1994, is unequivocally the best, period. Brett was the actor born to play the role, and it is unlikely anyone will ever surpass him. First up, the Ritchie films.

I need Irene Adler's pussy to power my Arc reactor.

The first film, 2009's aptly titled Sherlock Holmes, attempts (and mostly succeeds) to be a fresh new take on well-worn material. Combining elements of multiple Doyle stories and throwing a fresh new plot and antagonist into the mix, the film also sports a grand, Gothic visual style and strong, well-written characters played by well-cast actors. Out of all the roles, I'd say the best cast and acted was Jude Law as Watson. His version of the character is a younger, fitter, and stronger incarnation than those in past iterations, and he has a much more independent mindset as well. Unlike other versions, him and Holmes really seem like equals in terms of their friendship (as opposed to Holmes looking down to and condescending the intellectually inferior Watson, as in the past), and it makes for both a more humorous and emotional dynamic. In this movie, they really seem to need each other in their lives. However, this shouldn't discount the rest of this strong, strong cast. Rachel McAdams is good as Irene Adler, being just femme fatale enough to keep Holmes both enamored and on his toes with her. Mark Strong, as always, plays a very powerful and creepy villain as the occultist Lord Blackwood, his menace casting a shade over the whole movie. And finally, Robert Downey Jr. as the titular character, is.....not quite perfect. That's not to say he is bad (quite the contrary, he does the character justice and strives to bring something new to the table, despite his somewhat inconsistent accent); more that he just isn't quite the fit for the character. This incarnation would have benefited from a younger Holmes (in a Batman Begins vein), played by someone like, for example, James McAvoy. Watson is older than Holmes in most versions anyway, so he could've worked with Law quite well. His performance in the recent X-Men: First Class shows that he has that touch of charisma needed, along with the ability to play a strong, analytical mind. Nevertheless, Downey is strong, and earned his Golden Globe (though I'm not quite sure why it was for Musical/Comedy). The real issue with this film that keeps it from being great instead of just good is the style. Ritchie's laid-back action style doesn't mesh well with Doyle's world, as Holmes has never been an action hero. The film is full of action sequences that simply don't need to be there. The disguise, street chases, and analyzing are necessary for the character, but the action is simply not needed (such as the fighting ring scene). A Game of Shadows, the sequel due out this Christmas, sees the return of Ritchie, Downey, Law, and McAdams (briefly, I've heard), as well as newcomers Noomi Rapace (the star of the Swedish Millennium Trilogy films) as some Gypsy named Sim, and Mad Men's Jared Harris as Holmes devious and deadly arch-nemesis, Professor Moriarty. It's rumored to be based on The Final Problem, the final Holmes story, so we'll se where that goes.

Big Ben = Holmes' wang when presented with a case

Sherlock, on the other hand, is quite a different beast. A 3-episode BBC television series developed by Doctor Who writers Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss (with 3 more eps on the way this fall), this version sets Holmes and Watson in modern times, in 2010 London. Thus, Sherlock has a whole new set of quirks to go along with his old ones, such as only texting (never calling) with his cell phone, and lacking elementary knowledge of certain areas of study (such as astronomy), believing they cloud his brain from his detective work. This version tells the origin of Holmes and Watson, so their relationship develops at a slower and more natural pace than the film series, in which their association has been established for years. Thus, less emphasis is placed on them, and more on Holmes' obsession with his work. Many in modern days believe the man is crazy, and that he will inevitably snap one day and become one of the monsters that he currently pursues. Watson becomes the inside man on all of this, becoming Holmes' ally and medical expert, as well as the writer of his blog. This version introduces Moriarty very early as well, with his presence becoming known as of the end of the first episode and fully realized as of the end of the third. As for the cast, they are, for lack of a better word, outstanding, particularly Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes. He may very well be the best Holmes since the late Brett, bringing all the mannerisms along with the perfect tone and train of thought. As for Watson, our future Hobbt, Martin Freeman is great as usual, playing the perfect kind of straight man that allows us to see Holmes through his eyes. Other than that, no real characters to speak of, except for Andrew Scott's brief, awesome appearance as the completely psychotic Moriarty, who sets up a really interesting dynamic between him and Holmes for the upcoming season. To individually rank the episodes themselves, I thought that the first one, "A Study in Pink", was really great at setting up the series while telling a fun standalone story, which made the second, "The Blind Banker", so disappointing. "Banker" felt like a good episode in a long running hour-length series, but in a season of only three 90-minute episodes, it was too little content overstretched over the length. Also, it had no developments on the Moriarty story arc, and virtually ignored the events of the first episode. But then, the final episode, "The Great Game" (reminiscent of the Game of Shadows film subtitle), was utterly spectacular, beating out the film adaptation in my opinion, with a gripping story and finale, as well as an even greater cliffhanger. I am waiting with bated breath for the second season.

Overall, I would so far grade the TV series as being the better adaptation, but the movie has very different merits of its own. I would argue Cumberbatch over Downey, a tie between Freeman and Law, a win for the movie's supporting cast, and a win for the show on design.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows opens December 16.
Sherlock Season 2 premieres sometime in Fall 2011.

Do not fear me, Gypsy, all I want from you is your tears.

Star ratings:
Sherlock Holmes - 4/5 stars

Sherlock series-
"A Study in Pink" - 4.5/5 stars
"The Blind Banker" - 3/5 stars
"The Great Game" - 5/5 stars

Falling Skies- "Grace" Review

We didn't have clickers, we used a device called a KNOB.

In "Grace", the fourth episode of Falling Skies, we learned a few new interesting tidbits about the skitters, such as that they sleep in a bat-like form, as well as that they psychologically condition the harness-wearing kids to not only use human weaponry so they can become human shields, but that they also brainwash the kids of their memories and apparently make them desire wearing the harnesses. This is all due to our favorite Prisoner of War, as the previous episode's title suggests. I also wonder what Pope's plans for the future are, as he just sort of runs off after rather humorously and dramatically kills the sleeping skitters. "Grace" was about on par with "Prisoner of War", and I still look forward to developments in the coming weeks.

"Grace"- 3.5/5

Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition Blu-ray Thoughts

Insert nerdgasm here.

OK, so yeah, The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Blu-ray disc set has arrived on Blu-ray, and I must say that this is about as awesome as a Blu-ray set gets. Right up there with last year's incredibly polished and detailed Alien Anthology, the Blu-ray for LOTR has the advantage of not having two (possibly one, as the Assembly Cut of Alien 3 is debatable) crappy films saddling its space. I'll take a look at the films individually:

The Witch-king's wife is such a Bitch-queen.

The Fellowship of the Ring, lauded by hardcore fans for its faithfulness, is probably my least liked installment of the trilogy (not that is isn't great), just because of the way Tolkien wrote the story. A rather long and protracted exposition sequence only lengthened by the Extended version (though I love the Hobbit references, perfect not only as a reflection but also as a little reminder of next year's film), a lack of action for most of the first half (this is a three-and-a-half hour movie in Extended form, by the way, about 100 minutes), and a cliffhanger that doesn't really excite as much as it should, despite the foreboding final shots of Mordor. However, the parts that are great are just so great, that they cancel out these minor niggles and advance forward. Ian McKellen's wise and sagely Gandalf the Grey (McKellen said he liked playing the Grey more than the White, and I agree that it's a more interesting role), Christopher Lee as the dark and powerful Saruman, the brilliant opening scenes involving Sauron's creation of the Ring and subsequent destruction, Gandalf's battle with the Balrog, and of course, Scary Bilbo (seriously, I practically pissed my pants in that scene as a kid). Overall, though, the film is great, just not as amazing as the subsequent films.

You'll come back as a dragon. You'll come back as Viggo Mortensen.

The Two Towers is a increasingly more complex, labyrinthine, and action-packed film than its predecessor, and though it's nearly impossible to follow without repeat viewings, it remains to be a classic of the fantasy genre. So many things in this movie are awesome, such as the epic Battle of Helm's Deep (probably only beat in battle scenes by the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan and Gladiator), Brad f***in Dourif as Grima Wormtongue (in one of those "best casting ever" moments),  and of course, Gollum. Never has a computer-generated character been so ideally realized from book to film. Andy Serkis' voice, motion capture, and Gollum's conflicting and feral personality are about as perfect as it gets. The climax and ending work better than Fellowship, as Frodo and Sam venture off into the unknown, heading toward a situation of great peril. The Two Towers, tricky as it may be, cemented Peter Jackson's place in Hollywood legend.

Master, just let me stick it in the Precious one more time....

As the final chapter of the trilogy, The Return of the King is the best, and is, bar none, the greatest fantasy film ever made. The best of the trilogy (with the best Blu-ray as well, the visuals are amazing) carries a lot of action, drama, tenderness, and thrills in its extended 260-minute run time (that's almost FOUR-AND-A-HALF hours, folks). It is more linear and easier to understand than The Two Towers (provided you DO understand that one already), and features many of the trilogy's finest moments. From The Battle of Pelennor Fields (until the Army of the Dead show up and cut it short), to Frodo's confrontation with Shelob and his wrestle for power with Gollum at the Crack of Doom, almost every scene in this film carries a sense of wonder and awe. Not many new elements are added to this one, with it being an almost completely direct continuation on from its predecessor (whereas it introduced a number of new characters, settings, and situations), but the Extended Edition only gives more of a good thing.

The box set is incredibly detailed (even if the extras are merely from earlier sets), and they're perfect for fans and newcomers alike. It's ideal with The Hobbit a mere 17 months away.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens December 14, 2012.
The Hobbit: There and Back Again opens December 13, 2013.

I'm back, bitch.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring- 4/5
Extended Edition- 4/5 (some nice new scenes, but nothing necessary)

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers- 4/5
Extended Edition- 4.5/5 (additional scenes with the Orcs and a Denethor-Boromir-Faramir scene raise it half a star)

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King- 4.5/5
Extended Editon- 5/5 (More Denethor-Faramir, as well as the death of Saruman and Grima fix the only flaw in the original cut)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D review

Too bad I'm not really the baddie. Michael Bay misinformed us! SHOCKER!!

I was going to right an article about the first two Michael Bay-directed Transformers films, but I found that it was too cynical, particularly in the case of the GARBAGE that was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. So instead, since I saw the film earlier than planned, my review of Bay's purportedly final film in the series, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. I'm truly in two minds about this one. On one hand, the 3D was great, the action was good, and the stakes were high. On the other hand, the first hour sucked so bad that I practically walked out early. In this first hour, we are subjected to mediocre plot exposition, the return of Wheelie (damn it. damn it Bay), and the crappy acting of almost everyone involved in the production, with the possible exception of Patrick Dempsey. John Malkovich and Ken Jeong cameo in ridiculously unfunny and overacted roles, while Frances McDormand plays her role as a government official a little too seriously. Shia LaBeouf's shtick is getting old, John Turturro lost all of his humor in the last film, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is simply not an actress, no matter how mind-blowing her ass is in 3D (and believe me, that is UNBELIEVABLE). But then, when (SPOILER ALERT) Ironhide is murdered by supposed good guy Sentinel Prime (voiced by Spock himself, though did Bay really have to put a dark spin on his last words from Wrath of Khan?) and Dempsey's character is revealed to be a human double agent. After this, the film suddenly becomes dark, emotional, and action-heavy, with the stakes far higher this time (Sentinel is trying to pull CYBERTRON itself into Earth's atmosphere!!! HOLY FLIPPIN SHITSKIS!!!). By now, you will have realized that Bay lied again, and that Shockwave, despite being in the film, is not the villain at all, but is...

He's got a robot goatee! How do we know this isn't Mirror-Sentinel??

Sentinel himself, allied with the wounded and basically useless Megatron to save Cybertron at the expense of Earth. This leads to Chicago (for some reason, why Chicago?) to being used as a Decepticon base and subsequently reduced to rubble in the final battle. The ending feels rushed and anti-climactic, with Megatron and Optimus' final face-off honestly deserving more screen-time, no matter how epic the battle between Optimus and Sentinel was. Chicago looked epic in destruction, while the action complemented the 3D nicely. James Cameron and Steven Spielberg obviously gave Bay a few tips on the technology, as it is the one area of the film that Bay completely nails. Imagine this in 3D:

Where does the battle for Earth fight? Lower Wacker Drive, obviously.

Yeah, now you get it.

Anyways, the film is entertaining, despite the god-awful first half, and Bay somewhat redeems himself for the disaster that is Revenge of the Fallen. I'll give all three ratings of the movies, to compensate for not writing that other post.

Goodbye, Sam Witwicky. Goodbye, Optimus, Megatron, Bumblebee. So glad Starscream died.

Transformers- 3.5/5 stars
Revenge of the Fallen- 1/5 stars
Dark of the Moon- 3/5 stars