Why Darren Aronofsky's NOAH is my Favorite Film of 2014

Didn't see this one coming, did ya?

That's right. NOAH, Darren Aronofsky's biblical epic about the titular ark, is my pick for the best film of 2014. A movie decried by religious groups for unfaithfulness to the source text, a movie that currently has a 6.0 rating on IMDB, with many users dubbing it one of the worst movies they have ever seen.

I'm here to tell you that they're wrong. They're so very, very wrong.

INTERSTELLAR was a film that was given major props for its scope and ambition, for willing to be such a massive movie filled with so many big ideas. And while it is indeed true that Christopher Nolan did fill his movie with big ideas, I generally found the execution of those ideas somewhat lacking, in that they were boiled down to simple sentiment (LOVE CONQUERS ALL AND TRANSCENDS TIME AND SPACE AND YADA YADA YADA) by the time that the credits rolled.

In many ways, NOAH is the movie that INTERSTELLAR could've been, that it should've been.

NOAH takes its biblical template, and uses the supernatural angle of the text of Genesis in order to build what is essentially a fantasy world, one that calls to mind less church readings and more the works of J. R. R. Tolkien. It's THE LORD OF THE RINGS, only with far greater moral complexity and bigger ideas at play. Aronofsky takes the large budget Paramount granted him and crafts a blockbuster that is stuffed with the sort of questions about morality and quandaries about the meaning of God that would be more at home in a $2,000,000 arthouse movie. The first half has all the sweep of a Peter Jackson movie, as Noah dutifully fulfills the mission he believes God has chosen him for, but in the second half, things take a turn for the smaller, and with it, the darker. Noah is left to face the reality of what he has done (as in, bring 6 people on the ark and a whole bunch of animals while the rest of humanity is left to drown), as he and his family hear the screams of men, women and children as they drown while desperately attempting to cling to the side of a mountain. Noah descends into madness, believing that he must stay on the Creator's path, even if that means innocent blood must be shed. Russell Crowe sells this finely sketched descent perfectly, as the second half of the film's closest cinematic cousin is none other than Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING (another of my favorite films, and in my opinion the best horror movie ever made). It is truly Crowe's finest performance in over a decade, as he sells the grandiosity and extremity that Noah's character eventually goes to. Some of the other acting is questionable (Jennifer Connelly has one moment that feels overacted, and Douglas Booth is kind of wooden), but Logan Lerman and Emma Watson are also exceptional. Aronofsky has chosen to fill in the blanks left by the Bible in very interesting ways, and yet the movie's happy directly-out-of-Genesis ending feels completely earned as well. It's the joy at the end of a long, hard journey, not unlike the experience of watching some of Disney's darker animated classics. Clint Mansell's score is also one of the most underrated of the year, big and full of extremely chilling portents of doom, and Matthew Libatique's cinematography is as stellar here as it was in the rest of Aronofsky's oeuvre.

The greatest triumph of NOAH is that, despite its massive budget (ten times more than any other of Aronofsky's movies, excluding THE FOUNTAIN), and box office expectations, it feels like it fits right in with the rest of the director's filmography. Paramount let Aronofsky make the movie he wanted to make, and now we get to reap the rewards.

Don't listen to the negative hype. NOAH is destined to be a unsung masterpiece, and it's, in my opinion, the best movie of 2014.

Now, onwards and upwards to 2015! JUPITER ASCENDING, FURIOUS 7, AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON, MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, and STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS. I'm giddy with excitement.

^The most that I've fanboyed out recently

My Top 10 Movies of 2014

What a year, what a year.

Before we even knew it, 2014 is drawing to a close. And unlike previous years, where there were still a multitude of movies that I missed, I have seen enough of the movies I wanted to see this year that I feel comfortable making a list of my favorite movies of the year. First off, I want to rattle off some honorable mentions:

INTERSTELLAR was probably the film that came closest to making the list but didn't, as though it was a profound film experience on the big screen, the movie's flaws kept me from crossing that barrier into truly loving it. David Gordon Green's JOE also came damnably close to making it, featuring one of the best performances of Nicolas Cage's career (and certainly the best non-ludicrous role he's had in decades), but my #10 ultimately beat it out.  CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER, DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES and EDGE OF TOMORROW were all summer blockbusters that I loved dearly, and very easily could have made the list, but I felt that the movies I've included better reflect my own personal taste, and how I feel about this year in movies as a whole. My favorite comedy of the year was 22 JUMP STREET, for the record. 2014 was an absolutely insane year for genre films and movies in general. Now, onto the top 10!

10. SNOWPIERCER

Captain America this guy is not...

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER was one of the best Marvel movies, as well as one of the best pure action blockbusters in years, but it's Chris Evans' other performance this year that made the list. SNOWPIERCER, director Bong Joon-ho's English debut, is a breathtaking and action-packed slice of apocalyptic sci-fi, one that shows that the law in a post-world society can be as lawless as actual anarchy. Evans takes his Cap charm and translates it into something more wounded and angry as Curtis, the semi-reluctant leader of the revolution that attempts to overthrow the tyrannical front elites of the Snowpiercer, the train that happens to be the only inhabitable place left on Earth after an environmental experiment gone awry. The movie boasts a stellar supporting cast as well, including John Hurt, Jamie Bell, Ed Harris, Octavia Spencer, a very over-the-top Tilda Swinton, and Song Kang-ho. Taking cues from everything from Kubrick to Gilliam, Bong delivers completely, and shows that he may become a directorial force to be reckoned with in the west.

9. GONE GIRL

She is indeed a Cool Girl here...

David Fincher is back, and with GONE GIRL he delivers a depraved trash masterpiece for the ages, evoking the works of everyone from Adrian Lyne to Brian De Palma in his deliciously twisted adaptation of Gillian Flynn's novel. Ben Affleck has never been more perfectly cast than in the role of Nick Dunne, a husband whose mission in life is to convince everyone he's not an asshole, despite looking and sounding like Ben Affleck, and whose mission gets complicated when his beloved wife goes missing. Like the novel, the movie reveals one tidbit of information at a time, slowly pulling back the camera so we can see the whole painting, and once we do, we realize what a disturbing world of shit we have stepped into. Fincher is perfectly suited to this kind of material, bringing all the lurid details and social commentary about media's invasion of privacy with his masterful cold precision. Boasting top-notch supporting performances from Rosamund Pike (who damn well better get an Oscar nod), Carrie Coon, Kim Dickens, and (shockingly) Tyler Perry (who possibly steals the whole damn movie), GONE GIRL is a must for both fans of Fincher and fans of top-dollar lurid weirdness.

8. INHERENT VICE

I was basically guaranteed to like this one on the style alone.

Confession time: I've never been the biggest Paul Thomas Anderson fan. Of course, I don't know how fair an assessment that is. I've yet to see BOOGIE NIGHTS (I know) or MAGNOLIA (I KNOW). PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE was until recently my favorite film of his, with its clever inversion of the typical Adam Sandler character on top of a rather sweet oddball romance. THERE WILL BE BLOOD is a movie I really need to watch again, boasting an (as usual) incredible performance from Daniel Day-Lewis but at the same time leaving me overwhelmed and flabbergasted. THE MASTER is a movie that left me cold, despite boasting an obviously stellar and unhinged turn from Joaquin Phoenix. Phoenix returns as the lead in INHERENT VICE, Anderson's Pynchon adaptation (the novel which I'm currently reading for clarification purposes), and despite being rather boggled by the plot once again in an Anderson film, I found it terrifically entertaining. Visually stunning and consistently hilarious, INHERENT VICE represents the end of an era, as the 1960s fell by the wayside to make way for the rather hippie-less future. Phoenix's Doc Sportello represents the end of that era, as a barely functional pothead PI who struggles to piece all the clues together while investigating the disappearance of his ex (a luminous and femme fatale-ish Katherine Waterston). Josh Brolin's hilarious Bigfoot Bjornsen represents the other side of that coin, as the hardass cop who's always on Doc's case. Also boasting amazing supporting turns from Owen Wilson, Benicio del Toro, Reese Witherspoon, and Martin Short, INHERENT VICE may lack coherence, but I predict that it will reward repeat viewings, and it's so rip-roaringly hilarious as to make the list.

7. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

You're welcome indeed

I know, I know, I'm ranking a goddamn Marvel movie above fucking Fincher and Paul Thomas Anderson, but hear me out. I'm greatly anticipating STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS when it arrives in theaters next Christmas, but in some ways, James Gunn's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY already gave me what I want out of a modern space opera. The second-best Marvel movie yet (only eclipsed by THE AVENGERS), GUARDIANS represents Marvel's biggest risk paying off, as a movie with a tree-man and an anthropomorphic raccoon soared to previously unimaginable critical and financial success. It's also the funniest comic book movie of all time, breaking out millions of zingers that I'm still quoting to this day. It's got a killer soundtrack, full of pop classics that are all perfectly deployed in the movie. It's great for adults, great for kids, great for just about anybody. It's everything that anyone could want out of going to the movies. And it's fully earned its spot on my list.

6. JOHN WICK

Keanu is back. WHOA

JOHN WICK has only been out for two months, and I'm already convinced that it's well on its way to being an action classic. Full of extraordinary action sequences (directed by stuntmen David Leitch and Chad Stahelski), witty dialogue, strong world-building, and the triumphant return of one Keanu Reeves, JOHN WICK delivers a cinematic boogeyman that few can claim to match. I actually don't have much to say about this one, other than that it's basically the bee's knees. Dog's best friend, indeed.

5. THE GUEST

It's hard NOT to think of John Carpenter

When it comes to Adam Wingard, I enjoyed YOU'RE NEXT just fine. It was a clever, entertaining spin on the typical home invasion horror movie. Still, it left me totally unprepared for this. Holy shit. THE GUEST is yet another killer action movie in a murderer's row year of action movies, but unlike its more modern-styled colleagues, it's steeped heavily in the past. A miraculously perfect fusion of 1980s James Cameron and John Carpenter, THE GUEST is the most perfectly distillation of their styles that I have ever seen. This movie is pretty much HALLOWEEN meets THE TERMINATOR, and it's got everything you can think of, from the Carpenter-esque synth score, to Carpenter's damn title font, to Cameron's masterful direction of low-budget action, to its Sarah Connor-esque protagonist (Maika Monroe is absolutely sublime), to the near-perfect combination of Michael Myers, the Terminator, and Kyle Reese in the form of the titular Guest, David, played note-perfect by a soon-to-be-huge (hopefully) Dan Stevens. Insanely, this is only my second-favorite action flick of the year. The best is still yet to come.

4. LOCKE

No, he's not doing his Bane voice here...

On paper, LOCKE sounds like a dumb, cheap thriller premise. A guy in his car talking on the speaker phone for 90 minutes could play as an absolute disaster in the wrong hands. Luckily, writer-director Steven Knight's prove to be the right ones, as LOCKE is completely and utterly enthralling as we watch one poor man's life unravel as he attempts to follow his moral code and do the right thing, despite the knowledge that it will probably be the end of him. Knight's writing and direction are both note-perfect, but even so, this movie would not work without Tom Hardy. Hardy brilliantly plays Ivan Locke's internal conflict, as he attempts to juggle his job, his home life, and the life that he feels responsible for all at the same time, as he sticks to his moral code to the letter, despite it causing his life to come apart at the seams, all within the span of a 90 minute drive from Birmingham to London. It is truly a cinematic experience like none other, and one that demands to be seen.

3. NIGHTCRAWLER

The advent of Video Production News

Jake Gyllenhaal's movie choices continue to impress, and NIGHTCRAWLER is probably his best performance yet. Where THE GUEST paid homage to the action movies of the 1980s, NIGHTCRAWLER feels more in the vein of the 1970s, merging the styles of a Sidney Lumet directing NETWORK with a young Scorsese doing TAXI DRIVER, providing us with a social commentary on the unsavory nature of the media while simultaneously giving us a truly chilling portrait of a pure sociopath who will stop at nothing to climb his way to the top. Louis Bloom is one of the most unsettling characters in years, and Gyllenhaal nails it, giving him a shit-eating grin and a cold douchebaggery masking bottomless ambition and a cauldron of rage. First-time director Dan Gilroy shows a true talent in the beautifully shot Los Angeles cityscape, and a car chase that's worth the price of admission. It's also the first movie on this list that I would consider a true masterpiece.

2. THE RAID 2

It's like Coppola or Scorsese suddenly wanted to kick ass

One of the best movies of 2011 was THE RAID, a Indonesian martial arts action masterpiece that brought director Gareth Evans onto the international stage in a huge way. However, despite some of the best filmed action that the world has ever seen, THE RAID was a pretty simple action movie on a story level. Not so with this year's follow-up. THE RAID 2 is essentially like if Scorsese was in the middle of working on the script for THE DEPARTED, and he suddenly went "Hmm. You know what this movie needs? BALLS TO THE WALL MARTIAL ARTS ASSKICKERY." A sequel whose staggering ambition and impressive scope dwarfs the original in every way, THE RAID 2 is the best action movie of the year, a powerful revenge movie, and an epic crime saga, all in one easy-to-carry package. It's only weakness in comparison to its predecessor is that it lacks the complete cohesion and simple narrative drive of the original THE RAID. But what it gains in exchange is so much more. THE RAID 2 has some of the best action sequences you'll ever see. The kitchen fight. The baseball scene. THE HAMMER SCENE. Just. DAMN.

And my number one movie of 2014 is...

No.

You know what? The #1 movie of the year deserves its own article. I'll put that up tomorrow. And trust me, it will be a surprise.

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PART 1 Review

*Goofy whistling noise*

THE HUNGER GAMES is truly an oddball film franchise: it's a YA adaptation series that I feel a large number of the moviegoing public aren't taking seriously. People lump them into the same category as TWILIGHT; that is, a terribly written mess adapted to film only to appear to the fangirls who will obsess over either "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" and all that nonsense, only with "Team Gale" and "Team Peeta". And while I think the Suzanne Collins-written book series is hit-or-miss at best, I feel that the film series has been, for the most part, quite good.

The first film, directed by Gary Ross, is the movie closest to the original source novel, and consequently, it is the one that most feels like a YA novel adaptation. It also doesn't help that it suffers from a flat visual look, shaky-cam in order to avoid graphically depicting onscreen child murder, a cast of interchangeable YA-type actors who come across more as high school bullies more than actual physical threats, and a fairly low budget that leads to some rather dodgy CGI. However, the sound structure of the first book also translates to the movie, and the strong themes and casting of Jennifer Lawrence together essentially keep the movie pretty good, despite those shaky surface elements.

For the sequel, CATCHING FIRE, Ross exited the director's chair, and his duties were taken over by Francis Lawrence, a director with more big-budget experience than Ross (albeit bad experience; suffice it to say that I am not a fan of I AM LEGEND), and he took the template that Ross laid out for him and bolstered it with a more colorful visual palette, a bigger budget (courtesy of the first film's gross) that allowed for better visuals and more coherent action sequences, and the same strong performances that drove the first (with delightfully villainous turns from Donald Sutherland and the late Philip Seymour Hoffman). It also felt far more adult, leaving the YA feel behind for a more sophisticated form of sci-fi action. You could make a case that CATCHING FIRE was one of the better blockbusters of the past decade (and this is coming from a guy who basically despised the book).

And so, in YA tradition, the series finale, MOCKINGJAY, was split into two parts, bringing the grand total of HUNGER GAMES films to four. I have not read the novel, as I decided that I prefer the films anyway, and would like to see the ending on the terms of the movies first. Lawrence earned my confidence with the second movie, but making what is essentially half a movie compelling is something other talented filmmakers have had trouble with before (looking at you, DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1). So, my verdict on THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PART 1 (henceforth called MOCKINGJAY 1) after the jump.

Even with the makeup, Jennifer Lawrence does NOT look 35.

Yes, MOCKINGJAY 1 is half a movie, but what a half a movie it is. Even on its own, it's a crackling political sci-fi actioner, one where the supposed selling points of a YA franchise (aka the action and the romance) are the least interesting parts of the film. That stuff takes a backseat to the political machinations of Hoffman's Plutarch Heavensbee and franchise newcomer Julianne Moore's President Coin, as they play the game of propaganda with Sutherland's President Snow, with Lawrence's Katniss hanging in the crossfire as the Mockingjay symbol of the rebellion. Sure, it's stuff that's all essentially been in a bunch of movies before, but it's all packaged in a way that still makes it feel exciting and relevant. It's certainly the most compelling movie ever where large sections of it revolve around a bunch of characters in a cafeteria watching television.

The biggest complaint I can level against it (other than that it lacks a proper structure due to its Part 1-itis) is that it strips away much of the color and personality of the Capitol from CATCHING FIRE, in favor of a more subdued, sterile landscape in District 13. This is actually by design, as Lawrence is showing how the gray uniforms and steel walls of the underground militarized complex contrasts with the over-the-top ostentatious fashion and digital window views of the Capitol, but the added color is still missed. Nevertheless, Lawrence's direction is even more assured this time out, with some strong tasteful CGI mixed with some very sci-fi practical sets. Danny Strong and Peter Craig were well-chosen screenwriters for this one as well, with Strong's political drama experience translating well to Plutarch and Coin's machinations. The performances are also top-notch (nearly) across the board. Lawrence is incredible once again as Katniss, showing her character's mental instability in a frighteningly real way. The supporting players are all tops as well, from the aforementioned Sutherland, Hoffman, and Moore, as well as Woody Harrelson and Stanley Tucci. The least interesting players in this YA adaptation are, oddly enough, the love triangle players. I've never really enjoyed Josh Hutcherson as Peeta... until now. Crazy Peeta is far more interesting than Normal Peeta, whether he's exhibiting douchebag mannerisms on Capitol TV or psychotically jumping about in a mental ward. Liam Hemsworth as Gale, though... yikes. He had some line deliveries that were near-Hayden Christensen level bad, and he's just so BORING. He has none of the charisma of his Asgardian older brother, and Gale is just such a mopey milquetoast that you never buy him as a love interest for Katniss. Easily the weakest part of the movie.

It'll all really work on how MOCKINGJAY 2 shakes out next year, but for now, MOCKINGJAY 1 is a strong continuation of one of the best big-budget sci-fi franchises coming out today.

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PART 1 gets an 8. We'll see whether PART 2 raises that score in retrospect.

INTERSTELLAR Review

"That's what I love about these time dilations, man. Murph gets older, I stay the same age..."

INTERSTELLAR is a movie I have wrestled over in my brain. I have spent the last ten days or so trying to process how exactly I feel about the film, and while I'm probably going to come out of this mostly positive, we'll see where the review takes us. I'll be using the good/bad format on this one, as it'll be the only way I can fully articulate my final verdict. Here we go... (SPOILERS)

THE GOOD

- Acting: The cast is tremendous, as you would probably expect them to be. Matthew McConaughey already completed his career resurrection earlier this year with the one-two punch of his Oscar win and TRUE DETECTIVE, so this is essentially a victory lap for him. He infuses Cooper, our protagonist, with all of the familial charm and emotion that he can muster, and is perfectly cast. Anne Hathaway does the best that she can with a somewhat underwritten role, selling us on Brand's abruptly introduced romantic interest in one of the earlier astronauts. Jessica Chastain is as good as usual as the adult Murph, but Mackenzie Foy may have her beat as the child form (while also appearing to have been sent from the fifth dimension in order to perfectly represent little Chastain). Michael Caine is Michael Caine in a Christopher Nolan movie, as per usual, even if his constant repetition of a certain Dylan Thomas poem can get a little repetitive at times. The rest of the cast mostly delivers as well, with Wes Bentley, Casey Affleck, Topher Grace, John Lithgow, and especially Bill Irwin as the voice of TARS, with one weak link exception that I will get to later.

- Visuals/Direction: INTERSTELLAR is not shy about aiming for the grandeur of space travel and all of the hope and fear that it represents, and Nolan delivers this angle on every level. This is a movie that demands to be seen in IMAX, as you feel like you'll be falling through black holes, wormholes, and dimensions at every turn. The alien planets, while somewhat monochromatic in appearance, also dazzle, with the ice cloud planet and the space station almost feeling like companion pieces to the dream warping scenes in INCEPTION. The movie also has a few mind-blowing setpieces, with a manual ride onto the hatch of the Endurance being the highlight of the movie. The entire theater I was in burst into applause as Coop piloted the craft through a perilous situation. TARS is also one of the coolest movie robots in a while, as he's funny, soulful, and exceedingly well-designed.

- World Building: While the aforementioned flight sequence was the movie's best scene, the movie's best act is its first. The brothers Nolan succeed as bringing us to a terrifyingly plausible future, one where the New York Yankees play baseball on an elementary school diamond (the most Spielbergian moment in a movie once meant as a Spielberg project), where the Apollo moon landings are historically retconned as being faked, where the majority of the world's population are farmers, where corn is the only viable food crop left, where dust storms plague the remnants of humanity and do lethal damage to childrens' lungs, and where there is only a generation left before the world will starve and then suffocate. The Nolans never let us forget what is at stake should Coop and crew fail their mission, and the sadness of the Earth they leave behind is all set up in the first forty minutes.

- Ambition: As you may have already gathered from the earlier points, this is a film of towering ambition. It aims very high and, like NOAH earlier this year, is a big-budget spectacle that demands that the audience turn their brain on. It doesn't reach as high as that aforementioned movie, but it reaches much higher than many movies of its ilk would ever dream of doing. Kudos to Paramount for getting involved in two such high-aiming projects (it ALMOST makes up for TRANS4MERS)

- Score: Hands down the single best thing about the movie. Hans Zimmer finally moves away from the sounds that have defined his recent career (his Batman scores, MAN OF STEEL, INCEPTION), and comes up with a new, fitting, and incredibly epic sound that perfectly fit with the movie. It's probably my favorite Zimmer score of all time, and is worth the price of admission alone.

THE BAD

- Exposition: Christopher Nolan movies have always had difficulty with the delivery of expository dialogue, and INTERSTELLAR may be the most problematic of them all in this particular regard. Characters spit explanations at each other constantly, plot developments (Brand being in love with one of the earlier astronauts) are introduced willy-nilly, and most damningly, the exposition in some scenes (particularly as we near the ending) end up over-explaining, dampening the ability to have an emotional response to scenes designed to deliver such a reaction, as well as completely removing any degree of interpretation or mystery. At times, the third act feels as if it was 2001, only with a compulsive need to explain the exact nature of the Star child, how the bedroom came into being, and who exactly sent the monolith. INCEPTION managed to make its rapid speed of plot development into a strength. Not so much luck here.

- Matt Damon: Some may disagree with me on this, but I found Damon being cast as the "antagonist" astronaut, Dr. Mann, to be distracting to an alarming degree. I get that the goal was to have Damon's presence help sell Mann as the legendary space explorer he was built up to be, but it in turn made in difficult to buy Mann's descent into cowardice (though I liked it on the level that Damon is famous for doing a McConaughey impresssion). Damon's a great actor whose work I very much enjoy, but he was simply misused here.

- The Third Act: On one level, the third act was absolutely spectacular, a visually stunning sequence that channels Kubrick in every way. However, it also asks that the viewer be very invested in the goings-on, something that is somewhat difficult to do when we've never really gotten a chance to know Coop or Murph as people. Cooper's only defining attributes are that he loves Murph and was an ex-pilot, and Murph's only defining attributes are a keen intellect and a resentment of her father's departure. It tries to sell Cooper's paternal love as an eternal, quantifiable matter that brings Coop's fifth-dimensional message through time to save the Earth, but it never quite got me. Also, it sort of simplifies a complex movie down to a simple "love conquers all" result. Not a bad sentiment, but not particularly intellectually stimulating either. And again, TARS' exposition means that not an iota is left to interpretation.

THE VERDICT

INTERSTELLAR is a movie that is at times beautiful, emotional, and visually exhilarating. But it just as often limps and plods through long pages of exposition and rather obvious thematic conclusions. It's a handsomely made movie, one that demands to be seen on the biggest screen possible, and one that I will recommend wholeheartedly. However, be warned that your mileage may vary. People talked up THE DARK KNIGHT RISES as being polarizing; however, I feel that in the long run, the anomaly of Nolan's career may indeed be INTERSTELLAR.

I'm going to refrain from giving the movie a grade on this one. It's just too difficult to gauge in such a way.

Recent Movie Roundup

AKA the best roundup image on Google

I've seen a few movies lately, but I haven't had time to review any of them. As such, I'm going to condense all of the films into one column, with mini-reviews for all. Here we go:

THE EQUALIZER

I consider "from the director of OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN"
to be a far more encouraging tagline

Denzel Washington has sadly lost his touch. Not as an actor, mind you, he's still pretty great there. However, he either is having a serious midlife crisis or has a terrible agent, because he's pigeonholed himself into doing one crappy action movie after another (many of them directed by the late Tony Scott), with the last really great movie under his belt being the eight-year-old INSIDE MAN (FLIGHT was decent but uneven). The latest in this line of generic extravaganzas is THE EQUALIZER. It was directed by Antoine Fuqua, aka the director of OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (aka the greatest movie to watch while drunk), but also TRAINING DAY for those remembering his last collaboration with Denzel. Sadly, since then he's become sort of like a proto-Tony Scott, belting out one action movie after another, only without any of the borderline experimental and hyperkinetic style that makes Scott's movies interesting. THE EQUALIZER is a glum, plodding, and most damningly, boring action movie that offers virtually no surprises or thrills. Denzel gets pretty far on charm alone, but it's not enough to save this rickety ship. 3/10

GONE GIRL

Only Fincher could make this image that interesting

Thankfully, I saw David Fincher's newest outing next, and that made for a far more engaging filmgoing experience. GONE GIRL is delightfully dark, trashy, and sociopathic, with Fincher providing a flawless translation of Gillian Flynn's (who also provided the excellent screenplay) novel about a journey into a marriage's heart of darkness. It's got all of Fincher's usual pleasures as well, with the low-key and unnerving score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Jeff Cronenweth's dark and moody cinematography, and of course, Fincher's masterful direction. He also absolutely nails the casting, with Ben Affleck delivering the performance of his career. He was born to play Nick Dunne, and he's just as perfect as one would imagine while reading the novel. Rosamund Pike, though, is on another level as Nick's wife Amy, the titular gone girl, as we watch these two extremely detestable human beings navigate the icy waters of marriage. It isn't Fincher's best movie, but it's probably his best one that isn't a masterpiece. 8.5/10

JOHN WICK

The man who kills the boogeyman...

Now THIS is an action movie. JOHN WICK is everything that THE EQUALIZER should have been, and so much more. After years of providing action movies with all the stunts, David Leitch and Chad Stahelski step behind the camera, and deliver what will become a modern action classic. Not only is JOHN WICK filled with kinetic action, vibrant cinematography, and a healthy dose of humor, but it also succeeds at building a fictional world parallel to ours, one run by assassins. It's more ambitious and exciting than the places that most action films would go, and it enriches the already invigorating experience. As a side effect, this movie also gives us a great gift: the return of Keanu Reeves. Reeves plays Wick with the conviction of a man who will destroy the men who destroyed his hope, come hell or high water. It's Keanu's best role in years, and it will hopefully spawn a franchise that will allow us to play in this world for years to come. It also doesn't hurt that it has a stellar supporting cast, including Michael Nyqvist as the almost comically resigned villain, Alfie Allen (THEON GREYJOY) as his shithead of a son, and minor turns from such greats as Willem Dafoe, Ian McShane, John Leguizamo, and even lesser known talents like Adrianne Palicki and Lance Reddick. Make this the action movie you see this year. 8.5/10

NIGHTCRAWLER

LA always looks so badass in movies...

And now, the golden goose of the Roundup, NIGHTCRAWLER. The directorial debut from screenwriter Dan Gilroy (brother of Tony, the BOURNE series writer) feels a lot like a masterpiece. Alternately tense, hilarious, biting, and horrifying, NIGHTCRAWLER is a dark look into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles crime journalism, as one extremely sociopathic go-getter, Louis Bloom, attempts to fashion himself a career by getting news outlets the footage that more decent men will not. It also gives us possibly the best performance of Jake Gyllenhaal's career, one that he's been working towards for years. Louis is a man driven by nothing but cold hard ambition, and Gyllenhaal successfully sells the ice running through his veins. There are decent supporting turns from Rene Russo, Bill Paxton, and Riz Ahmed, but NIGHTCRAWLER is predominately a one-man show, and Gyllenhaal takes it down into the murkiest, darkest depths. 9.5/10

And that's it for the roundup. I've seen INTERSTELLAR, but I need a little more time to process it. My review will be up soon.

Ranking Christopher Nolan's Movies 2: The Re-Ranking

With even the same photo headlining it

Before the release of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, I did a ranking of the films of Christopher Nolan, who is still, in my esteem, probably the most interesting mainstream filmmaker working today, at least on a blockbuster level. And with his new film INTERSTELLAR right around the corner, I've decided to do a re-ranking, as my overall opinions on his films have changed over the last couple of years. And while I'm not quite as in love with his work as my younger self, I still greatly anticipate every new film he brings. Onward:

(Note: I'm not going to go into as much detail this time. Mostly just to explain why something moved up/down the list. Also, I still haven't seen FOLLOWING. I'll get to it eventually)

7. INSOMNIA

I just remembered Robin Williams was in this. RIP.

INSOMNIA, Nolan's 2002 remake of a Swedish thriller I did not see, remains at the bottom. I've only seen it once, and have no particular interest in revisiting it. It's not even a bad movie, really, but it's easily the most anonymous of his films. Anybody with a competent directorial eye could have made this. It gets a few decent ideas across, but other than seeing the late Robin Williams in full creep mode and the usual loud late-period Pacino performance, there isn't much here you couldn't also get somewhere else.


6. BATMAN BEGINS

Batman is pissed at his lower ranking

Yep, Nolan's first Batman film has dropped down one. I did a rewatch of his whole Dark Knight trilogy recently, and found up that of the three, BATMAN BEGINS holds up the least. That isn't to say that it doesn't remain a solid superhero movie, because it is. It's just that I don't think it has much of the wow factor its two sequels provide, and its third act has been rightfully vilified as a mess. It's also lacking in the more complex themes at play in the later two installments (we'll get to how clear those themes are in each of those movies in a minute). Also, Katie Holmes. Nevertheless, Bale is my favorite live-action Batman (screw the haters on his Batvoice), Liam Neeson makes a compelling mentor-turned-villain (even if his villainy becomes a bit too obvious by the end), and it has a supporting cast for the ages. Still a definite recommendation, and its two sequels go a long way towards correcting its mistakes.

5. MEMENTO

As many images as I can recycle as possible

That's right, MEMENTO has dropped down several notches. A few years ago, I would've put it as being damn near Nolan's second best film. And now I think it's in the bottom half. Why? Because when you tear away all of its layers and narrative tricks, the story being told just isn't all that compelling, and multiple viewings only weaken the experience. As Roger Ebert himself put it, "Greater understanding helped on the plot level, but didn't enrich the viewing experience. Confusion is the state we are intended to be in". That said, Guy Pearce gives a career-best performance, Joe Pantoliano makes for a slimy frenemy, Carrie-Anne Moss is an adept femme fatale, and the narrative conceit is, at least at first, very cool. Also, the ending goes a long way to redeeming the movie's overall flaws. 

4. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Seriously, all the image recycling I can get...

I'll be the first to admit that my immediate post-viewing review of Nolan's trilogy closer is a tad hyperbolic. I gave it a 9.75 at the time, and now I'd say I'd be more comfortable with somewhere between an 8.5 and a 9. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES lacks the near-perfection and thematic cohesion of its immediate predecessor, being 165 minutes of crazy ideas and plot turns and long-term story capping that has to really squeeze to fit everything that it wants to in. Nevertheless, it's one hell of a movie, far more entertaining and spirited than the "grim-n-gritty" naysayers would have you believe. Nolan goes further into heightened reality in the second and third acts of the movie than I anticipated he would, and gives us a pretty badass villain in the form of Tom Hardy's hulking, Sean Connery-sounding Bane (Seriously, that voice is the best of all possible voices). And while it certainly brings Bale's Bruce Wayne to a different conclusion than I imagined for him (and certainly not one that would work with almost any other incarnation of Batman), it nevertheless successfully completes the journey Nolan set out on in 2005. It also has a FLYING TANK, people, come on. I get why people don't like this movie, but the scorn it's had heaped on it since its release is a tad overboard.

3. THE PRESTIGE

Yes, listen to the totally sane Ziggy Stardust and Gollum...

THE PRESTIGE has moved up several slots in my rankings, and for damn good reason. As opposed to MEMENTO, a movie which I feel diminishes in impact on repeat viewings, this one is only enriched by them. The plot twists which initially felt contrived and overly convoluted in my initial viewing suddenly gained new light with more time to contemplate them, and the ending suddenly felt considerably less unbelievable. The movie has a stacked cast (it's Wolverine vs. Batman as rival magicians, for God's sake), it's a wonderful period piece, and the best part is that the whole movie is in that majestic opening shot. You just have to know what you're looking for. 

2. INCEPTION

Something something train, something something far away.

Here's where this new ranking starts to get predictable. INCEPTION was tied for the #2 spot 2 years ago, and now it claims sole possession. It's a movie that somehow manages to be both a gigantic blockbuster and an intensely personal work at the same time (something I'm hoping Nolan will be able to recreate in his new film), that touches on how love that is lost can lead to unhealthy longing, while exploring what exactly may go on inside someone's brain, while delivering loads of quick, on-the-fly exposition, while also being a twisty and surprising heist movie. It's a movie with as many layers as the dream that in spends most of its runtime within, and I'm still wrangling over whether it's a masterpiece or not. Either way, it's pretty damn close.

1. THE DARK KNIGHT (Yep, still #1)

Is Batman not pleased?

This is still one of my all-time favorites. The best superhero movie by a mile (even the cream of the second tier, stuff like THE AVENGERS and SPIDER-MAN 2, sit at least one rung below), THE DARK KNIGHT manages to be a bang-up superhero blockbuster, a sprawling Michael Mann-esque crime saga, a sobering meditation on the occasional necessity of lying for the greater good, a current-events film that zeroes in on terrorism and the changing morality of an ever-graying world, a showcase for one of comics' and cinema's greatest villains (brought to life in a stunning Oscar performance by a sorely missed actor), and one of the best takes on Batman of all time. The ending still gives me goosebumps today.

And there you have it. Opinions change. Maybe I'll get around to ranking another current director's works one of these days (maybe Fincher or Tarantino?). In the meantime, I eagerly await the arrival of INTERSTELLAR on November 7.

Nolan's promising a lot with that tagline. Here's hoping he delivers.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Review

I am. I am very welcome indeed.

Ten films into their cinematic universe, Marvel has built quite an impressive house for itself, where they feel daring enough to release something as daring, as unique, and as charmingly offbeat as this week's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, directed by no less than James freaking Gunn, the cinematic master of manchildren. GUARDIANS may not be the best movie in this universe (it probably falls somewhere just above the middle of the ten movies), but it may be the one that is most its own thing, apart from the rest, give or take a Thanos. It's not even a superhero film, not really. Feels a bit more like this universe's answer to STAR WARS.

For this review, I feel the good/bad/meh approach might work better than a straightforward series of paragraphs, as it'll allow be to quickly dissect all the things I like and dislike.

Original concept art. There's a disturbing lack of Chris Pratt or Diesel-y Groot.

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

THE BAD

- Ronan

This guy

Now, our villain here may not be a completely outright bad element. There are certainly things that I do like about him. His design, for one. It's one of the most overtly comic-booky designs ever for a character. I can't even tell that that's Lee Pace (of LINCOLN and the HOBBIT movies) underneath, and that in itself is an achievement. Pace also certainly injects as much menace as he can into the guy, and he has a few individual moments towards the end that work, especially his hilarious face when Quill attempts to distract him form destroying the Xandarians with an impromptu dance contest. However, other than these elements, there's just not much to his character. He's cool-looking, but that's about it. There's not much to differentiate him and his motivations from other Marvel villains (he almost feels interchangeable with Christopher Eccleston's Malekith from THOR: THE DARK WORLD), and a movie as big and crazy as this one could've used a crazier villain. He wasn't completely terrible, but I feel we deserved more.

- Pacing

It takes a while for GUARDIANS to jump into high gear. It opens with a sad and wonderful (almost Pixar-esque) scene where a young Peter Quill has to deal with the death of his mother on 1988 Earth, only to be hastily abducted by Yondu's crew of Ravagers for space places unknown. It then gives us a cool sequence where we see the older Quill go about his goofy theft of the McGuffin Orb. Once the movie goes outside Quill's orbit, however, things get a bit trickier. We are immediately thrown into this conflict between the Xandarians and the Kree, and we must immediately jump aboard Ronan's ship and learn about his dealings with Thanos and his daughters very rapidly. The movie moves at a fast clip all the way through the rest of the first act, before reaching a bit of a lull during the second, before kicking into high gear again for the final battle. The final 45 minutes of the movie are perfect and outstanding, giving us all the cosmic Marvel weirdness we ever could've asked for, it just takes an uneven 75 to get there. There's plenty of great scenes in the first two acts (the street chase between Gamora, Rocket, Groot, and Quill, the prison sequence), but it doesn't coalesce as well as the end of the movie does. GUARDIANS has a whole new universe to establish, essentially, in a fraction of the runtime that the rest of the Marvel universe has had, and it struggles initially to bring everything together. Once everything clicks together over halfway through the movie, however, it works like gangbusters.

- Score

Now, Tyler Bates' score is nearly as bad as Henry Jackman's incomprehensible gurgling from CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (the only real glaring weakpoint of that movie). But nor does it ascend to the heights of Brian Tyler or Alan Silvestri's Marvel scores. It has a definable, soaring theme, yes, but not much else. Most of the action music sounds much like stuff we've all heard before.

- Occasional CGI Overload

This may have been inevitable in a space adventure movie, but there are a few moments in GUARDIANS where the CGI can begin to overload your brain. It never reaches the cartoon world of the HOBBIT movies, but certain characters (*cough cough THANOS*) would have benefitted from a bit more of a grounding in reality, and the space battles could've used a bit less minutiae (there are bits at the end that reminded me unpleasantly of the opening of REVENGE OF THE SITH, only slightly less intrusive).

Thankfully, that's it for the bad. On to the meh!

THE MEH 

- Gamora

*Not in the movie

In a cast decorated with multiple rich, colorful, and hilarious characters, Gamora is at best a mixed bag. She is given clear motivation and purpose and kicks loads of ass, but she lacks much personality. Zoe Saldana (first a human space lieutenant, then blue cat tribal girl, now green murderer) does her damnedest to bring out the most she can from the character, but other than a few moments of perfection ("I will not succumb to your pelvic sorcery!" being a highlight not just of her character, but the movie) Gamora never quite gets there. Plenty of room to explore her in the sequel, I guess.

- Nebula

"I might be key to the universe one day, but for now I'm just here!"

Nebula suffers from many of the same problems as her sister. Karen Gillan does succeed as imbuing her with menace, just as Pace did with Ronan, and like Gamora, she kicks the crap out of a lot of dudes. But other than giving Gamora someone to fight at the end, she lacks much actual purpose in the movie but to be "the henchwench". Her and Gamora could have had an interesting and complicated relationship about their opposition to each other, and how it relates to their "father" (who I'll be getting to in a minute), but instead, they just try to kill each other at the end. It's ultimately a missed opportunity, especially considering if Marvel chooses to do a straight "Infinity Gauntlet" adaptation for AVENGERS 3, where Nebula would presumably play a key role.

- Thanos

I AM THE PORTENT OF DOOM, here to kick ass, chew gum, and fuck Death.

After yet another brief appearance in a Marvel movie, I'm wondering when we're going to be getting more of this guy. They might be saving him up entirely for AVENGERS 3, but it'd be nice to know a thing or two about him before that. Right now, all we know is that he hangs out on the same throne all the time, and that he speaks with Josh Brolin's voice. I like the full design's accuracy, and the fact that he looks a little like Brolin. Brolin's voice is perfect, too, all menacing and such. It's not that Thanos is a problem in and of himself, it's that his role in the movie's a bit superfluous other than a fan wank for the future. I want more, dammit.

- The Collector

This fucking guy

Another example where the character feels like little more than a wank. I'm enjoying Benicio del Toro's gonzo performance, and the character feels about as morally questionable as they get (he seems innocent enough at first, but then we find out that he's basically keeping slaves, and he comes off like that guy who attempted to "collect" Data in that one TNG episode), which makes him interesting. But other than his Infinity Stone explanation (four so far in the MCU, I believe?), he serves almost no real purpose in the movie. I DO like that his name is Taneleer Tivan, though. Got to keep that Stan Lee naming convention up.

Guess, that's about it for the "meh", then. Now on to the good (REALLY GOOD) stuff.

THE GOOD/FUCKING AWESOME

- Drax

The best picture that I could find.

Based on the promos for the movie, as well as the casting of former WWE guy Dave Bautista, I expected Drax to be little more than the group heavy. HOLY SHIT was I wrong. Shockingly, Drax almost ends up stealing the whole damn movie, with his inability to understand subtlety or metaphor played up to maximum comedic effect. Bautista is perfect, too. His little glances are fantastic, as is his ever-deadpan line delivery. He takes this literal brute of a guy and manages to make him feel almost soulful. ("Quill, you are my friend. This dumb tree stump, he is my friend. This green whore, she is-". "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it".)

- Rocket

The most real hysterical laugh of his entire life.

Unlike Drax, Rocket had sky-high expectations, and he met them. This little raccoon has the most personality by far out of anyone in the movie, and Bradley Cooper modulates his voice so well that you can't even tell it's him. Watching a two-leg-walking talking raccoon get drunk and threaten a green Dave Bautista with a gun is one the best things ever, as is his penchant for getting people to remove prosthetic body parts for LOLZ. Rocket and Groot's relationship is the soul of the movie, as well, with no other pairing feeling as deep or heartfelt. When Rocket screams "YOU KILLED GROOT" at Ronan, it takes a scene that could have been goofy and makes it almost genuinely heartbreaking.

- Groot

"We are Groot". *Entire audience bursts into tears*

Say hello to the heart of the movie. Like his Iron Giant, Vin Diesel takes a character with not a ton to say, and gives him a real soul. Gunn gets a ridiculous amount of mileage out of making comedic situations from "I am Groot", the character's weird abilities never cease to amaze or amuse, and his smiles could melt any cold hearted bastard. Also, little Groot dancing at the end is AMAZING.

- Star-Lord

"STAR-LORD!!!!". "Finally..."

None of this movie would've worked without Peter Quill, and Peter Quill wouldn't have worked without Chris Pratt. Pratt gets his career-making role here, with all the bravado of Han Solo and the goofy, lunkheaded charm we've come to expect from him on PARKS AND RECREATION. Though the movie has five main characters, Quill is the key that makes the rest of them work, and Pratt knows how to handle him. Quill comes off as bold and brave, but also as kind of an idiot who needs to be kept in check. All of the Guardians complement each other. Apart, they were a bunch of misfits. Together, as Ronan said it bitch, "they're the Guardians of the Galaxy". And Star-Lord is the lynchpin.

- James Gunn

There was no other writer/director as suited to this material as Gunn, and here, he fully makes the Marvel Cinematic Universe his own. Like Gunn's other movies, the main character is a misfit manchild who can't move beyond a critical event in his past (Rainn Wilson couldn't deal with his wife leaving him in SUPER, just as Quill can't accept his mother's death), and Gunn executes that material just as beautifully here. From the quirky humor, to the gonzo wonderful soundtrack, it's the most auteur expression in the Marvel universe since Shane Black's IRON MAN THREE. 

- Soundtrack

Where Bates' score fails, the soundtrack succeeds beyond wildest dreams. From the "Hooked on a Feeling" introduced in the first trailer, to the rocking "Cherry Bomb", to wonderfully cathartic appearance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" at the end (second successful deployment of Marvin Gaye in a Marvel movie in a row, BTW), it's just fantastic, and unlike some other superhero soundtracks (*cough cough PRINCE BATMAN*), the songs are successfully deployed in the movie.

- Third Act

The third act of this movie reinforces how far Marvel's come in its willingness to go all out in a movie's climax. Nine movies ago, a robot-suited Jeff Bridges was throwing cars at Tony Stark on an LA freeway. Four movies ago, Tony Stark threw a nuke at some aliens. And now, loads of alien ships are firing at each other on an alien planet while our heroes infiltrate the enemy spacecraft and Rocket is flying around like a bat outta hell. The scale has most decidedly been upped. Presumably, next year's AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON will up it again.

- Howard the Duck

Unrelated to the George Lucas abomination

FUCK. YES.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY gets an 8.5 out of 10.

Phase Two is almost over. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON opens May 1.

It looks OK...

Current Marvel Movie Rankings:

1. THE AVENGERS

2. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

3. IRON MAN THREE

4. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

5. IRON MAN

6. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

7. THOR: THE DARK WORLD

8. THOR

9. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

10. IRON MAN 2