GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Review

I am. I am very welcome indeed.

Ten films into their cinematic universe, Marvel has built quite an impressive house for itself, where they feel daring enough to release something as daring, as unique, and as charmingly offbeat as this week's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, directed by no less than James freaking Gunn, the cinematic master of manchildren. GUARDIANS may not be the best movie in this universe (it probably falls somewhere just above the middle of the ten movies), but it may be the one that is most its own thing, apart from the rest, give or take a Thanos. It's not even a superhero film, not really. Feels a bit more like this universe's answer to STAR WARS.

For this review, I feel the good/bad/meh approach might work better than a straightforward series of paragraphs, as it'll allow be to quickly dissect all the things I like and dislike.

Original concept art. There's a disturbing lack of Chris Pratt or Diesel-y Groot.

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

THE BAD

- Ronan

This guy

Now, our villain here may not be a completely outright bad element. There are certainly things that I do like about him. His design, for one. It's one of the most overtly comic-booky designs ever for a character. I can't even tell that that's Lee Pace (of LINCOLN and the HOBBIT movies) underneath, and that in itself is an achievement. Pace also certainly injects as much menace as he can into the guy, and he has a few individual moments towards the end that work, especially his hilarious face when Quill attempts to distract him form destroying the Xandarians with an impromptu dance contest. However, other than these elements, there's just not much to his character. He's cool-looking, but that's about it. There's not much to differentiate him and his motivations from other Marvel villains (he almost feels interchangeable with Christopher Eccleston's Malekith from THOR: THE DARK WORLD), and a movie as big and crazy as this one could've used a crazier villain. He wasn't completely terrible, but I feel we deserved more.

- Pacing

It takes a while for GUARDIANS to jump into high gear. It opens with a sad and wonderful (almost Pixar-esque) scene where a young Peter Quill has to deal with the death of his mother on 1988 Earth, only to be hastily abducted by Yondu's crew of Ravagers for space places unknown. It then gives us a cool sequence where we see the older Quill go about his goofy theft of the McGuffin Orb. Once the movie goes outside Quill's orbit, however, things get a bit trickier. We are immediately thrown into this conflict between the Xandarians and the Kree, and we must immediately jump aboard Ronan's ship and learn about his dealings with Thanos and his daughters very rapidly. The movie moves at a fast clip all the way through the rest of the first act, before reaching a bit of a lull during the second, before kicking into high gear again for the final battle. The final 45 minutes of the movie are perfect and outstanding, giving us all the cosmic Marvel weirdness we ever could've asked for, it just takes an uneven 75 to get there. There's plenty of great scenes in the first two acts (the street chase between Gamora, Rocket, Groot, and Quill, the prison sequence), but it doesn't coalesce as well as the end of the movie does. GUARDIANS has a whole new universe to establish, essentially, in a fraction of the runtime that the rest of the Marvel universe has had, and it struggles initially to bring everything together. Once everything clicks together over halfway through the movie, however, it works like gangbusters.

- Score

Now, Tyler Bates' score is nearly as bad as Henry Jackman's incomprehensible gurgling from CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (the only real glaring weakpoint of that movie). But nor does it ascend to the heights of Brian Tyler or Alan Silvestri's Marvel scores. It has a definable, soaring theme, yes, but not much else. Most of the action music sounds much like stuff we've all heard before.

- Occasional CGI Overload

This may have been inevitable in a space adventure movie, but there are a few moments in GUARDIANS where the CGI can begin to overload your brain. It never reaches the cartoon world of the HOBBIT movies, but certain characters (*cough cough THANOS*) would have benefitted from a bit more of a grounding in reality, and the space battles could've used a bit less minutiae (there are bits at the end that reminded me unpleasantly of the opening of REVENGE OF THE SITH, only slightly less intrusive).

Thankfully, that's it for the bad. On to the meh!

THE MEH 

- Gamora

*Not in the movie

In a cast decorated with multiple rich, colorful, and hilarious characters, Gamora is at best a mixed bag. She is given clear motivation and purpose and kicks loads of ass, but she lacks much personality. Zoe Saldana (first a human space lieutenant, then blue cat tribal girl, now green murderer) does her damnedest to bring out the most she can from the character, but other than a few moments of perfection ("I will not succumb to your pelvic sorcery!" being a highlight not just of her character, but the movie) Gamora never quite gets there. Plenty of room to explore her in the sequel, I guess.

- Nebula

"I might be key to the universe one day, but for now I'm just here!"

Nebula suffers from many of the same problems as her sister. Karen Gillan does succeed as imbuing her with menace, just as Pace did with Ronan, and like Gamora, she kicks the crap out of a lot of dudes. But other than giving Gamora someone to fight at the end, she lacks much actual purpose in the movie but to be "the henchwench". Her and Gamora could have had an interesting and complicated relationship about their opposition to each other, and how it relates to their "father" (who I'll be getting to in a minute), but instead, they just try to kill each other at the end. It's ultimately a missed opportunity, especially considering if Marvel chooses to do a straight "Infinity Gauntlet" adaptation for AVENGERS 3, where Nebula would presumably play a key role.

- Thanos

I AM THE PORTENT OF DOOM, here to kick ass, chew gum, and fuck Death.

After yet another brief appearance in a Marvel movie, I'm wondering when we're going to be getting more of this guy. They might be saving him up entirely for AVENGERS 3, but it'd be nice to know a thing or two about him before that. Right now, all we know is that he hangs out on the same throne all the time, and that he speaks with Josh Brolin's voice. I like the full design's accuracy, and the fact that he looks a little like Brolin. Brolin's voice is perfect, too, all menacing and such. It's not that Thanos is a problem in and of himself, it's that his role in the movie's a bit superfluous other than a fan wank for the future. I want more, dammit.

- The Collector

This fucking guy

Another example where the character feels like little more than a wank. I'm enjoying Benicio del Toro's gonzo performance, and the character feels about as morally questionable as they get (he seems innocent enough at first, but then we find out that he's basically keeping slaves, and he comes off like that guy who attempted to "collect" Data in that one TNG episode), which makes him interesting. But other than his Infinity Stone explanation (four so far in the MCU, I believe?), he serves almost no real purpose in the movie. I DO like that his name is Taneleer Tivan, though. Got to keep that Stan Lee naming convention up.

Guess, that's about it for the "meh", then. Now on to the good (REALLY GOOD) stuff.

THE GOOD/FUCKING AWESOME

- Drax

The best picture that I could find.

Based on the promos for the movie, as well as the casting of former WWE guy Dave Bautista, I expected Drax to be little more than the group heavy. HOLY SHIT was I wrong. Shockingly, Drax almost ends up stealing the whole damn movie, with his inability to understand subtlety or metaphor played up to maximum comedic effect. Bautista is perfect, too. His little glances are fantastic, as is his ever-deadpan line delivery. He takes this literal brute of a guy and manages to make him feel almost soulful. ("Quill, you are my friend. This dumb tree stump, he is my friend. This green whore, she is-". "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it".)

- Rocket

The most real hysterical laugh of his entire life.

Unlike Drax, Rocket had sky-high expectations, and he met them. This little raccoon has the most personality by far out of anyone in the movie, and Bradley Cooper modulates his voice so well that you can't even tell it's him. Watching a two-leg-walking talking raccoon get drunk and threaten a green Dave Bautista with a gun is one the best things ever, as is his penchant for getting people to remove prosthetic body parts for LOLZ. Rocket and Groot's relationship is the soul of the movie, as well, with no other pairing feeling as deep or heartfelt. When Rocket screams "YOU KILLED GROOT" at Ronan, it takes a scene that could have been goofy and makes it almost genuinely heartbreaking.

- Groot

"We are Groot". *Entire audience bursts into tears*

Say hello to the heart of the movie. Like his Iron Giant, Vin Diesel takes a character with not a ton to say, and gives him a real soul. Gunn gets a ridiculous amount of mileage out of making comedic situations from "I am Groot", the character's weird abilities never cease to amaze or amuse, and his smiles could melt any cold hearted bastard. Also, little Groot dancing at the end is AMAZING.

- Star-Lord

"STAR-LORD!!!!". "Finally..."

None of this movie would've worked without Peter Quill, and Peter Quill wouldn't have worked without Chris Pratt. Pratt gets his career-making role here, with all the bravado of Han Solo and the goofy, lunkheaded charm we've come to expect from him on PARKS AND RECREATION. Though the movie has five main characters, Quill is the key that makes the rest of them work, and Pratt knows how to handle him. Quill comes off as bold and brave, but also as kind of an idiot who needs to be kept in check. All of the Guardians complement each other. Apart, they were a bunch of misfits. Together, as Ronan said it bitch, "they're the Guardians of the Galaxy". And Star-Lord is the lynchpin.

- James Gunn

There was no other writer/director as suited to this material as Gunn, and here, he fully makes the Marvel Cinematic Universe his own. Like Gunn's other movies, the main character is a misfit manchild who can't move beyond a critical event in his past (Rainn Wilson couldn't deal with his wife leaving him in SUPER, just as Quill can't accept his mother's death), and Gunn executes that material just as beautifully here. From the quirky humor, to the gonzo wonderful soundtrack, it's the most auteur expression in the Marvel universe since Shane Black's IRON MAN THREE. 

- Soundtrack

Where Bates' score fails, the soundtrack succeeds beyond wildest dreams. From the "Hooked on a Feeling" introduced in the first trailer, to the rocking "Cherry Bomb", to wonderfully cathartic appearance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" at the end (second successful deployment of Marvin Gaye in a Marvel movie in a row, BTW), it's just fantastic, and unlike some other superhero soundtracks (*cough cough PRINCE BATMAN*), the songs are successfully deployed in the movie.

- Third Act

The third act of this movie reinforces how far Marvel's come in its willingness to go all out in a movie's climax. Nine movies ago, a robot-suited Jeff Bridges was throwing cars at Tony Stark on an LA freeway. Four movies ago, Tony Stark threw a nuke at some aliens. And now, loads of alien ships are firing at each other on an alien planet while our heroes infiltrate the enemy spacecraft and Rocket is flying around like a bat outta hell. The scale has most decidedly been upped. Presumably, next year's AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON will up it again.

- Howard the Duck

Unrelated to the George Lucas abomination

FUCK. YES.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY gets an 8.5 out of 10.

Phase Two is almost over. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON opens May 1.

It looks OK...

Current Marvel Movie Rankings:

1. THE AVENGERS

2. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

3. IRON MAN THREE

4. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

5. IRON MAN

6. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

7. THOR: THE DARK WORLD

8. THOR

9. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

10. IRON MAN 2