World War Z Review

A lot of people never bothered to learn Rule #1: Cardio

If the above caption doesn't sell it, I am a fan of zombie movies. Granted I'm a recent convert to the horror subgenre (courtesy of Zombieland and AMC's The Walking Dead, though I've since turned against that show; again, the Telltale game is 100 TIMES BETTER THAN THE SHOW), but I generally prefer apocalyptic zombie stories and the social commentary they provide to the dumb teenager stuff of slasher flicks. So, when I hear that Brad Pitt is making a big-budget blockbuster zombie movie, I was naturally intrigued. And then 2011 and 2012 happened, where we got way too much zombie stuff, which broke me to the point where I was only sort of excited about Naughty Dog's obvious masterwork The Last of Us (I'm only about 1/3 of the way through it right now, but look for my review later). Point is, the zombie genre has become way overdone, and when Warm Bodies (obviously the zombie version of Twilight) came out earlier this year, I figured that the undead were on their way out. And the trailers for World War Z did nothing to dissuade me. I swear to god, I thought it was a prequel for I Am Legend, with the saccharine family interplay and the impossibly bad CGI. Then there were the behind-the-scenes stories, where it was said that they had no idea how to end it, so they brought in Damon Lindelof (of all people) at the 11th hour to try to fix things. Then I heard things about Drew Goddard writing it instead, which sounded a little better; after all, he did The Cabin in the Woods. But my main concern this whole time has been Pitt's unfortunate choice of director: Marc Forster, who has the distinction of making Quantum of Solace, one of the worst Bond movies ever, which is only amplified by the fact that it came out between two of the best. Suffice it to say, unlike Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, and Man of Steel, I was not remotely excited for this movie, other than to see shit blow up and watch Brad Pitt get into fisticuffs with the undead. I haven't read the Max Brooks novel (which I hear it's only barely related to), so I couldn't give a damn about the source material. But anyway, my review after the jump.

THIS IS WHAT A ZOMBIE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE. Not the PG13 version.

Though I enjoyed it more than I expected to (for reasons I'll get to in a moment), World War Z ultimately came off as little more than a hacky combination of Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds and 28 Days Later, watered down, safe, and lacking in much originality. No humor, real genuine emotion, or acting to be found here. Just a tired soulless blockbuster, much like Quantum of Solace (though it is better than that atrocity). Time for pros and cons. Also, SPOILERS from here on out.

SPOILERS

The Good

- The Third Act. Seriously, for all the grumbling I heard about them having trouble with the ending, the third act is actually the high point of the movie, particularly the WHO lab sequence. It felt like something out of a George Romero film, and oddly enough, it was the only action scene in the entire movie that didn't require a huge budget. Pitt's performance goes up a few notches here, and he actually sells the fear in this scene. I also felt that the McGuffin of warding off zombies by creating a vaccine from dangerous pathogens was actually quite clever. It was a legitimate idea; after all, zombies wouldn't be hungry for sick flesh, as that would be like humans eating contaminated food. Also, the plane crash was suitable intense and immediate. For one scene, we had Zombies on a Plane, and it was pretty damn cool. The crash was almost as cool as the crash sequence in Flight. The ending was safe, but everything leading up to it actually managed to surprise me a bit.

- Segen. One of the few characters in this movie that I actually gave a shit about, as Daniella Kertesz did a good job with the horror of being bitten, and the pain and disconnect of losing a limb in such a harsh world. Also, she was a badass, as she was right back up on her feet a few days later, shooting zombies and kicking ass.

- The Tone. The producers said they wanted to convey a "Bourne Identity meets Walking Dead vibe, and at the very least, the mood was well-executed, as everything around the main characters was strange and unfamiliar, while also being suitably apocalyptic.

- Parts of the score were nice, and surprisingly from the guy who brought us James Bond CGI cars, the action was always tense and slow-building, really selling the scale of such a big-budget zombie flick.

- David Morse. He was onscreen for like, 5 seconds, but he totally nailed it. One of the few times where any life was breathed into the movie.

I'm Batman. SHHHHH.

The Bad

- Everything with the family. I wish they had actually got Matt Damon, and made it The Bourne Zombies, because God, the last hero this movie needed was a family man. One reason that a movie like 28 Days Later works so well is that Cillian Murphy's character wakes up all alone in an unfamiliar world, and has to fight every inch for his life. Gerry Lane? Not so much. His family hangs out on a cushy aircraft carrier, and then at a seemingly pleasant refugee camp in Nova Scotia, while he gets into all sorts of shit. But because he's the hero in an action movie, I never once felt like his life was in danger. Mireille Enos' performance basically amounted to "show up and say lines", while the kids were UNABASHEDLY AWFUL. Between such memorable lines as "Daddy, what's martial law?" and utterly boring, tension-breaking family interaction, they're the opposite of what I liked about Ty Simpkins' Harley in Iron Man 3.

- Pacing. The first 30 minutes of the movie move with such whiplash that there's no time to establish an emotional connection or catch your breath before getting to the next setpiece. The movie jumps from one location to another without getting to know the people at any of them. Other than Gerry, Segen, and a couple of guys at the WHO lab, we spend barely more than 5 minutes with anyone, and the people who we do see, we never get to know. It's like there was a studio mandate to keep the movie under two hours, because an end-times movie like this needed at least 135 minutes to properly stretch its legs.

- Everything goes to shit in like, four hours. We go from a normal day on the street, with some SLIGHT concerns about a rabies outbreak, to zombies everywhere and people dying in downtown Philly, to people hiding out from the hordes in their homes in Newark in the span of an afternoon. Things progress way too quickly, and they try to root this zombie problem in real-world facts. A good example of showing an epidemic causing worldwide distress in a realistic way is Steven Soderbergh's Contagion. At the very least, that movie showed how people were dying by the millions, but it was taking at least a few weeks to get to that point where everyone was hunkered down. I know the zombies infecting people would speed up the process at least a little, but it would still take more than one day for people to become fully aware of the degradation.

- Everything with the zombies. First off, see the picture above, because I repeat: THAT IS WHAT ZOMBIES, BRAINLESS MONSTERS WITH A THIRST FOR HUMAN FLESH, are supposed to look like. As far as I was concerned, no zombie in this movie ever bit someone, as none of them had decayed jaws, or blood running down their face. But because this is a PG-13 $200 million blockbuster, we can't see any of that, so it just has to roll with making less sense. And don't even get me started on how it takes about six seconds after someone dies from zombie bite to turn. COME ON. Even The Walking Dead had it take at least a few hours (you know, until the writing got sloppy and Shane turned right away at the end of season 2).

- Brad Pitt. I've seen Inglourious Basterds. I've seen Fight Club. Hell, I've seen Seven, which is less showy than either of the formers but far more real and emotional. Pitt is just totally slumming it here. He doesn't try to put any life into the character of Gerry, besides the script telling us THAT GERRY LURVES HIS FAMILY SO MUCH. I got to like him a bit more once he was striking it out on his own, but then the movie had him hold up that sign to the security camera (you know the one I mean), and I was reminded the family existed again, and I threw up a bit in my mouth. Pitt wanted the pomp and circumstance of having his own big-ass action franchise, like Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Bruce Willis, and now Marky Mark (see next year's seminal masterpiece Transformers 4) before him. Other than that, he basically put in the minimal effort possible. I saw his onscreen glances at Forster, as he said "ERHMAGERD WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PAYCHECK?!?!".

- Matthew Fox. Why exactly was he there?

Matthew Fox's life = Bit parts and Tyler Perry movies

- James Badge Dale. Why exactly was HE there?

Can I have a shaved head, fire powers, and beat up Jon Favreau again?

- Marc Forster. Once again, some action scenes were well-done, but this felt like Forster cranked it directly from the Paramount Studio Backlot of Blockbuster Films. He used these big, sweeping tracking shots to convey fear and terror, when Joss Whedon did the same thing in The Avengers just by keeping a level steady shot of the carnage below, as did Zack Snyder in last week's Man of Steel. And thus, Forster's transition from Indie Drama Darling to Big-Budget Journeyman Hack is complete. Can he turn back?

So, yeah, I didn't like this one. And if my past reviews are any indication, I'm not that hard to please as a moviegoer. Basically the only bad review I ever gave was for Transformers 3, and that was A MICHAEL BAY FILM. I didn't review Pirates 4 or Green Lantern, but I would've given those shitty ratings, too. And World War Z has some redeeming qualities that those trainwrecks didn't, mainly keeping a smooth tone and some crackerjack action sequences, particularly near the end. But maybe a megabudget zombie movie just wasn't meant to be.

Oh well. I'm looking forward to Pacific Rim.

World War Z gets a 5 out of 10. Just watch 28 Days Later or Shaun of the Dead again. And play The Last of Us. It's far more tense and entertaining than anything you'll get here.

Seriously, though. THAT HAIR.